On my mind and heart

I am not sure where this post will go, or if I will end up publishing it. My thoughts are everywhere right now. It is turning into FALL weather, and this makes my heart happy. There is something so comforting/cozy about Fall. I just finished taking a long walk with the pup (his favorite thing in this life). There was just a hint of chill in the air but I am in love. It was good for me to get out, to take some time to think and process and decompress.

The school year is back in full swing, and therefore so is my emotions and stress level. I love my students. I really do have a fun crew this year. Teaching definitely has it's ups and downs. There is many a day that I long for June. Working full time makes me absolutely relish in the days that  I have a  chunk of time to piddle around my house and believe it or not...clean. So weird right? Never thought I would be like that (my mom could attest to this) , but when I am feeling overwhelmed, one of the best ways for me to recharge is to have a day to myself piddling around catching up on laundry, straightening up the clutter from the busy week and sitting down to the smells of a clean house. (release deep sigh here). My home is my safe haven. My husband is my sanity. He has been so good to me as I adjust getting back into the swing of things.

I continue to work on being fully conscious of God's leading throughout my day. Right now, I feel like I am leaning on Him pretty heavily but still digging my heals in, in some areas. So much seems up in the air right now. With uncertainty comes doubt, and a "whoa -is -me" mentality. I am making it a point to have an ongoing honest conversation with Him throughout the day. I find myself repeating "Whatever is true, whatever is true, whatever is true"....to keep myself from allowing my mind to wander in thoughts that are not of Him. I know He's here. I know He's close. I don't know what in the world he is conjuring up, but I am thankful for the time I had tonight talking with Him on our walk tonight. Here's to taking deep breaths, letting the fresh chilly air in, and enjoying my first hot chocolate of the season.

Whole lot o' rambling...Happy Fall ya'll.

Longing for Sleepless Nights

So confession... number one is obviously I am not a blogger. April, Really?

Number two: That may be because the reason I created this blog was in hopes of recording our journey into parenthood. No such luck this far.

Confession number three: I am NOT good at waiting.

I am daily learning to lean upon the plan God has for our lives. God has not yet given me a reason to give up the wish of becoming parents, but here we are months and months and still  waiting...

There are days that I am very much at peace with this. Like I said, I know God has a plan, and ultimately in my heart I don't want this whole parenthood thing to start a second before God wills it to do so, but there is another corner of my heart that longs to be a mama.

Babies are everywhere! Hubby and I are in that season of our lives where our friends are bringing one bundle after another into our world. I am beyond happy for all of them. I thoroughly enjoy loving on these babies and watching them grow. I also am longing for nights of my own of getting no sleep because my baby needs to be fed, or cuddled (which if you know how much I love sleep, you know how crazy of a statement this is for me). I am longing for days to plan, and worry pray over , and love on a child that God blesses us with.

Right now, I am counting my blessings that God has given me. I refuse to not live the life I have now, waiting for a baby. Let me tell you, that is so easy to do. To become so focused at planning for a child and let life fly right by. I know we are in this waiting  season for a reason. So until then I keep praying for God's Will, and to be okay and happy in that Will whatever that might be.



Just to save this post from being a downer. I leave you with a few of my blessings.

My Love

My current baby :)

Am I a blogger?

..... I really have no idea. I am sure that I do not live an out of the ordinary life. Certainly not a life that many will flock to read about, but that is okay with me. If anything I wanted to do this to have a record of my journey. While my life may not be out of the ordinary, I feel like I am blessed with more than I can ever ask for. My days and weeks go quickly, and the seasons of life change. I want a way to "capture" these seasons, I guess.


So on to the blog name. While I anticipate the name/meaning behind this blog might take on many different meanings, for now it speaks of my search of peace in a not so peaceful world. To me, sleep is the ultimate form of peace. I LOVE sleep. I am one of those people that could still sleep 10 straight hours if I let myself. Yet, the busyness of life does not leave that time. There is always something requiring our attention.
I have been loving the song " Blessings" by Laura Story. It talks about finding God's blessings and plan in trials. One of my favorite lyrics in that song says...      
                                   
           ''  .... what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near..''

I pray that I will be so sensitive to my Father's callings that I will have a thousand sleepless nights if I stray too far from Him. And oh do I stray. I am learning that life has it's struggles, but in that there is always joy. I want to choose joy.....even if it means a little less sleep :).