Happy 2014! What a blessed year 2013 was. I have been joining in on the devotional She Reads Truth, and I felt compelled to be more mindful of how God has moved and is moving.
While I know that God is constantly moving and changing us, there are always those instances where I can look back and see that God had his hand in guiding my life. Recently, God answered a prayer that I still am unsure how it all unfolded. It is when I am standing in the middle of an answered prayer, that I am fully and completely aware of the Goodness of my Savior.
My husband and I recently welcomed our first born into this world. My precious son has also been a source of opening my eyes to so many things. Motherhood has changed me. I am learning each day a new kind of love. This baby boy bring joy and laughs and frustration and tears all at the same time. It's wonderful. He is wonderful.
I digress... :)...but seriously I just love this little man.
As long as I can remember I have wanted to be a mom and with that I wanted to be able to stay at home with my babies. Years went by and I married a youth pastor, and well folks while that has it's many rewards, a big pay check isn't one of them :). I had pretty much lost hope that my desire to stay home would become a reality. I really struggled even before we seriously started talking about having kids with that fact that I had such a passion for being a mother but it seemed to conflict with my reality. The next years of tears and worries, and sharing those worries to my friends and family that followed leave me somewhat embarrased humbled. While I felt that this desire came from God, I was unsure if He truly had them in his plans for me.
As we started to plan for our family, we decided to pray that along with blessing us with a baby, he would allow me to stay home. We prayed that God would not give us baby until it was possible for me to stay home. I look back on that now and know that I was praying that nightly with my husband but still doubting it would ever come to be. That was a time in our marriage where we made it a point to pray together. I have to wonder if that wasn't a big reason why I am writing this post today.
Long story post ( yes I know this is already a long post), He made it happen people. Just weeks before I was to go to work, God provided an opportunity for me to extend my leave and take the rest of the year off. I treasure this season. Yes, because I have this extra time with my son, but more so because there is no doubt in my mind God is in this. In my humanness, I looked at the facts on paper and was sure working outside the home was always in the cards for me. Whether God heard my desires to stay home, or he put those desires in my heart, I am still unsure. But I sit here and continue to shake my head at God's Provision.
He listens...He knows best....He Answers
